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Orpheus42
02-25-02, 06:10 AM
You don't see all that's really there
All that you can see is skin
You do not see the man within
You don't know what you discipline

If I could think you'd have a scare
What, might I call for reformation?
What I need is education
But all I get is regulation

So all I offer is a prayer
For light to shine despite the curse
Four our great minds you must disperse
For you do drive our nation's hearse

But can I go without a care?
While you stand in self-exaltation
I sit in lowly contemplation
Now is the time for restoration

And now, rather than simply stare
And huddle with my lowly kin
Safe walls of Salem sit within
I loose my words, my discipline

Peace, Love, and Jesus Christ,

Jason

Nicole
02-25-02, 06:28 AM
I'm sure I don't understand the meaning of half of it - but it sounds really good...and I really like this part:


So all I offer is a prayer
For light to shine despite the curse



very cool :)

Orpheus42
02-25-02, 06:44 PM
No other comments?

Catholic
02-25-02, 07:01 PM
Originally posted by Orpheus42
No other comments?

Of course that is not the case!

It sounds a bit rebellious, and calling for some type of reform? As I am not terribly talented when it comes to writing or interpreting poetry, trying to understand poems is a bit of a guessing game for me.

Orpheus42
02-25-02, 07:06 PM
It's a bit of a backlash against a few things, yes. Mostly the idea that only certain people know what's good for society and so they should tell everyone else what they need to know.

crazyfingers
02-25-02, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by Orpheus42
It's a bit of a backlash against a few things, yes. Mostly the idea that only certain people know what's good for society and so they should tell everyone else what they need to know.

I like it.

Orpheus42
02-25-02, 07:39 PM
Thanks :) When I get to the last line I have this image of a giant warrior unleashing a massive flaming arrow :devil:

I think Jonathan Swift is my new hero, with William Blake close behind.

HeatherlyButterfly
02-25-02, 08:20 PM
silly jason...

i like it though.

Orpheus42
02-25-02, 09:14 PM
Now, as usual, it's time for Jason's dissertation about his thought process while composing this poem :)

The rhyme scheme is a little bit different in this one than from anything else I've ever written. It almost has a monotonous, hypnotic effect.

a
b
b
b

a
c
c
c

a
d
d
d

a
c
c
c

a
b
b
b

As you probably noticed, there's an envelope structure to the rhyme theme framing the center stanza. There is also a thematic envelope structure framing the center stanza. When read from top to bottom, it's clear that the narrator is writing/speaking in rebellion against something. The envelope structures make it clear- the narrator is writing/speaking against whoever it is that drives the nation's hearse.

Today in British Studies we discussed Romantic Poetry, and we talked about Blake, Wordsworth, Keats, and Shelley. Discussion was somewhat lacking, so (inspired by two lines from Blake's "London") I penned these lines. Those Romantics in particular wrote in response to the Industrial Revolution. My lines are penned in that spirit, but as a response to postmodernist literary deconstruction and the tendency of established powers in America to attempt to control public thought by way of only promoting certain ideals and allowing only the information they want to get out. Dissenting public opinions are shouted down until anyone who disagrees is afraid to voice their opinion; universities try to academically discredit professors who don't fall in line with their agendas.

Things are not as bad as they could be- the bleak picture I have in mind is really a prediction of a future that COULD be. It's not exactly a "brave new world" (read Huxley!!!), but if the establishmentarians have their way, it will be. Education is our greatest weapon, hold fast to the classics. The white whale swims on! (read Melville!!!)

for further information regarding the new Literary Renaissance, please visit www.jollyroger.com

Thar she blows, matey! Arrrr.... (you'll understand when you visit the site)

Nicole
02-25-02, 09:20 PM
you like the envelope structure, don't you?

HeatherlyButterfly
02-25-02, 09:58 PM
every good biblical studies major loves the envelope structure...

Candice
02-26-02, 01:16 AM
very good jase.... very good keep writing

Orpheus42
02-26-02, 01:28 AM
Even now I am formulating a work that will be the epic work of envelope structures ;) Isaiah's got nothing on me!

:rofl:

HeatherlyButterfly
02-26-02, 03:22 AM
you clear this one with God yet?

Orpheus42
02-26-02, 04:39 AM
I was talking about structure, not content :p

HeatherlyButterfly
02-26-02, 05:02 AM
i know... you should still see what He thinks... because i see a humongous pride issue in the making... ;) love you jase...

Bohrdumb
03-01-02, 08:33 AM
I didn't see if anyone else asked, but who might the four minds be?
And are you Anti-Bush?

Orpheus42
03-01-02, 06:05 PM
Four minds- oh dear, that was a typo. Thank you :)

Anti-Bush? No, why do you ask?

The main thought process behind the poem was that of a person sick of the academic establishment's propensity to allow "free speech" in principle but in practice to shout down or try to shut down anyone who disagrees with certain ideologies. It could also be adapted to the context of anyone who feels he is writing or speaking in the face of a repressive environment or system. It could even be applied to some church environments.

Peace, Love, and Jesus Christ,

Jason