View Full Version : So much has happened...

01-20-02, 09:09 PM
My dearest friends,

Thank you again for your prayers. I really need them right now.

Much has happened since the last time I posted. I am living in a hotel -- we lost the house. THe business is having lots of problems, and I could be in legal trouble because of it. John has left me and told me to never, ever think of rekindling a relationship with him again. He is debating whether or not he wants to continue a business relationship.

I have been praying so hard. I have been praying to Let Go and Let God -- to have complete faith in His will for me, to thank him in advance for the prayers I know he is going to answer. I have been getting psychological help to deal with the things that have put me where I am today.

Tonight, I am seeing John and he will make a decision on the business. He has brought in another partner, and the partner has reservations about working with me. I know I have lied. I know I have not given my all. I have been give umpteen chances to do things right. I have accepted responsibility for my sins and errors. I have asked for forgiveness. I am working on forgiving myself. I pray minute by minute for God to deliver me from anxiety and worry and fear and to stand strong in my faith.

Please pray for us that God answers this prayer, and touches John's heart to that I get tiny opportunities to SHOW him I can do this. I have so much to make amends for and I am determined to do it. I fight the evil thoughts and temptations to be a liar, cheat, and manipulative every waking moment. But I'm learning to turn immediately to God for deliverance from those things.

I'm very confused and I know this letter is disjointed. When I saw John the other night, and we talked about *maybe* having a chance to continue the business, he said he did care about me and what hapopened to me. He said he knew that if I lost this last opportunity, my life would fall to pieces. He's right in one sense that there will be horrible worldly trials, but I know God will see me through them. I know he's hurting and angry at me. I robbed him of his love, I robbed him emotionally. My soul aches to know what I have lost.

But yet....there is still those moments when I turn to Him and say I KNOW YOU WILL RESTORE THIS FATHER. I know my prayers will be answered. I beg, in Jesus' name, that John's heart be touched and flamed by the Holy Spirit -- that he can see that I am truly sorry and truly making headway and efforts to change. May the Holy Spirit give him relief from his pain, from the anger he feels at me. May I be blessed with the strength to reap what I have sown.

Please pray for us tonight, dear friends. Please pray that my faith is STRONG and that I handle whatever is thrown my way good or bad. I'm scared to death. I keep saying over and over in my mind, I give this to you Lord, I believe, I thank you in advance for another chance.

Satan is attacking me endlessly. I'm fighting him, but I'm struggling.

Please pray for us. Please.

Thank you and God Bless,


01-20-02, 09:29 PM
:angel: Father, Here is another business and Family situation that needs Dunamis power. I ask in Jesus Name for Holy Spirit Wisdom and Understanding for all in this situation. I do not know all of the facts in this, But Father-You Do.
Give the Peace that passes all understanding to this Lady. Bless the situation that all will turn out well and that no one will get hurt. Agape. Grandpa.

01-20-02, 11:12 PM
O Father please lead and guide this sister and those who may or may not be in business with her. Please give them Your wisdom and Your grace. You alone know if the best and safest thing for her is to continue in this business or to have a totally fresh start and an opportunity to build a totally new life on the solid pure foundation of Your word. Please help eveyone to make the right decisions. Thank You that You are leading her forth in righteousness and peace and in a greater trust in Jesus Christ. If Your very best for her is to be out of the business then please give her the Holy Spirit grace to accept that and trust Your love and leading and know exactly what earning opportunity You're opening up next for her to have her needs supplied by You. Thank You for loving her.

01-21-02, 02:08 AM
Holy Spirit, I pray for Your preseince in this situation tonite, knowing that these people need reconsciliation in the name of th Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I pray tha tthey would be blessed into having this and all other things reconciled, Lord, knowing that You truly love them and are going to do some mighty thihngs when You'r ereadly, Lord, I pray for them in the meantime Father, knowing that You are in complete control. Thank You so much, Father, for Your unending love. I thank You and ask Your blessings upon this situation, Father, in Jesus' Name i pray, Amen.


01-21-02, 02:54 AM
He threw me out of his life completely....told me to die. Yet he says he forgives me.

I am heartbroken.....I was so strong in my faith. Is this the answer to my prayer? Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel like I can't take another breath. I'm crying out to Jesus to help me.....

Oh dear God, I am heartily sorry.....please don't forsake me now....where are you Lord??


01-21-02, 10:56 AM
He's there with you LVV. He's never left your side since the moment you asked for His help. But the answers He has for you go much deeper than your immediate circumstances.

Father, sometimes the only way to see an end to our misery is to let go of the situation that is causing us such pain. That's hard to do. I didn't want to let go. But in my darkest moments I even had to be willing to give up the most important person in my life in order to see Your plan in action. I had to surrender EVERYTHING. I knew I had no choice. The alternative was a lifetime of torment and anguish and I couldn't bear anymore! And You were faithful. Show our sister that You have a mighty plan for her life - that You want to take what looks SO bad and turn it into something good and whole. Help her to see that nothing matters but Jesus. Help her to feel in her spirit that loosing things of this world can't hurt us nearly as much as loosing touch with You. And, when we get angry and upset because our prayers don't get answered the way we want, we TOO close to allowing the enemy to steal the victory You paid the ultimate price for on that cross. Your sacrafice gave us freedom - freedom from doubt, freedom from fear and freedom from oppression. Help our sister to find her way to the cross to seek You first in ALL things. Assure her that You will take control and put her life together in a positive, wondrous way. Help her Lord! Lead her and guide her to the path You want her to walk, in Jesus' name.

02-02-02, 12:45 AM
Where to start....been a week or so since I've been here....still struggling with my faith.....

The new partner in his business, which was our business, has a wife who claims to be spirit filled but is very.......persuasive. She has convinced her husband and John that I am nothing but trash.

For a little bit, I can see John's heart vaccilating on forgiving me and watching and waiting.....then he's angry. I understand his anger and pain and I know it will take time if he is ever to trust me again.

For the first time in my entire life, everyone I have encountered I have told the absolute truth -- no matter how shameful, no matter how hard, no matter how painful.

John left me with some huge problems in the little bit of the business I he let me keep -- there is missing money and clients are coming after me for misappropriation. Fortunately, I have clean hands in that matter except I should have been strong and said NO when John was doing what he was doing -- his own sickness of spending and being depressed. I've told the truth, provided the proof, and the clients while not happy have been understanding and grateful for the truth. the lawyers on the other sides have said that while I may not escape complete responsibility, my cooperation and truthfulness will bear great weight on how I am treated. I hate for John to get hurt -- I don't want to see him hurt. These are not huge problems that cannot be resolved with a little cooperation between John and I.

Next, I am going to be able to see him tomorrow -- I hope alone and without his friend there as a "witness". He tends to want to assert his manliness when the friend is there and we don't accomplish much. His reasoning is I've lied to him so much he's scared of me and wants a witness to what I tell him. For that, I don't blame him.

I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but how, even with the passage of a little time do you PROVE yourself....prove your committment to change.....

Please friends -- tonight the prayers are not for me -- please ask the Holy Spirit to touch John -- to let just a piece of the compassionate heart peek out and talk to me as someone who cares for me, and I know he does -- he admits that.

I'm trying.....one day at a time....but I'm trying.

Love to all,


02-02-02, 09:30 AM
Father take control in these lives. Draw their attention to YOU, to Your Truth and Your Word. Show them how to seek You first in all things and to trust You to straighten out the rest. That's the only way we can ever find the peace we need and want. Bless them with a powerful revelation of You and Your Spirit that they might come to the foot of the cross and lay down their burdens. Draw them to Your presence to learn and grow and be strengthened, in Jesus' name.

02-02-02, 05:46 PM
Dear Heavenly Father - please be with LVV and John tonight so that they may communicate and move forward in this situation. Please give them both compassion, love, patience, and wisdom. Guide them as they make decisions on the business and in their personal lives. Bless them with forgiving hearts, for each other and themselves. We thank you, Lord, that you are giving LVV strength to continue with her business, strength to confess her sins and ask forgiveness. We know that you are a loving and merciful Father, wanting for our best. We ask that you continue to be with LVV as she so bravely fights her temptations, strengthen her resolve, her faith, and give her peace, Lord. Thank you, Lord. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

02-03-02, 12:05 AM
Oh it's been a horrible day....anxiety, temptation, Satan attacking me....tempted to do devious things....the same things that brought about my fall in the first place....

I've been praying and screaming at Satan to get out of my life....get away from me.....praying for Jesus to hold me....

I am so consumed with agony....I don't know how to let it go.....praying Psalm 41.....praising and thanking Him for all he's done for me and all the gifts I have yet to receive by seeking Him first.....it doesn't feel sincere....I feel like a fraud.....come to me Holy Spirit....come to me.....

So far I've been successful in resisting but I feel like someone or something is trying to tear my heart out.....and please, please pray for John...please pray for the Healing Touch of the Holy Spirit....

In Jesus name I pray,,,


02-03-02, 01:30 AM
Father this is a situation that only You can handle. Thank You that You are handling it een when all feelings seem to point the other way. Thank You that Your word is truth as well as being true. Please help LVV and please help John each to turn to You completely and to find Your healing peace.