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guest
06-06-15, 02:05 PM
I keep hearing kids need a dad but what when dad isn't around? Does this mean I should find a guy just so the kids have a man in the house.? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Ann
06-06-15, 08:50 PM
Hello and welcome to iljboards.

Kids do need a father but not just any male, not even if he is their biological father. Kids need a man who will be to them the way the Bible describes a father as being. If you are not with their father or the situation you and they are in is one where there is more harm than good of his being there or you have had a few boyfriends involved in your and their lives it will help you to know what the Bible says a real father is and does and to know that God can provide father figures who may not live in the house but can help fill this need. They may be grandpa's, uncles, stepfathers, a "big brother" a Sunday school teacher, a mentor, etc.

Let's look at what a father is and isn't. Father's provide loving guidance and stable discipline. They do not abuse. They teach They are patient. They want to find the good in the child and encourage it. They teach the child the truth about God and His love and righteousness. They meet the child's material needs like food, a home, clothing etc the best that they are able to do so. One place the Bible talks about this is Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." You can find more by looking the words Father and Fathers up in a bible search engine like www,blueletterbible.org

Charles
06-07-15, 03:22 AM
Children need a good male role model. When their own dad is gone or is not someone you want them to want to be like or want them to think that is how a man should be try to encourage contact with a man in your family, church or neighborhood who is. I know there are some who say a man any man is better than no man. They are dead wrong.

If you can find the movie Corageous watch it and see some more of how a dad is important and how a mentor can make a difference when dad is not around or not filling his role. We got our copy in the Wallmart marked down DVD's and I have played it several times.