Bad Thoughts

[Krista]

I am currently living (not married) with a man. He has been good to me, in most ways. He took my children and I in and helped me out amazingly. It has been four years and he still doesn't want to get married ( I have never been married and he has: if you are wondering I had my children at 19 and 21 and am currently 27) He likes that we get financial benefits being single( tax). Anyhow marriage and family are soooo very important. My life long dream was to be a successful hairstylist . I did become a hairstylist, and I believe from what I am told a good one. This man helped me by watching my children on the weekends when I worked and on some nights. Money seems to be the one things he cares about. Seriously!!! and his house. See we built a house two years ago and he is very very **** retentive!!!!!!!!!!! In fact it is a joke with family and friends. Example: My son had a bleeding nose this morning, and he was more worried that it would get on the carpet and ruin it before he was worried why my son had a bleeding nose. I could go on and on, but I hope you get the gist of it. Anyhow there have been occasions where he will push me, and once he choked me. I have to admit I was being a brat, but I know from a previous relationship that this is wrong. All my family and friends think I am sooooo lucky, but why do I feel that I am not. Anyhow here is the question:

I have been having thoughts of .....cheating on my partner. I daydream about it 24 hours a day. I dont' have anyone, I just dream about it. I have asked God to help take these images away but they keep creeping up. I asked God to help me find the love and companionship I need. I was praying one day a few weeks after I made myself a comittment before God to make this relationship work(my partner believes that it is working and he is wonderful and I am lucky) Anyhow as I was praying I was still for a few minutes and I heard "leave (blank)" Okay it was a voice inside my head. But do you think it was god? I feel like a terrible brat and i may watch too many love movies and have this stupid idea of what love is. But how can I ask God to help me, and how do I know which direction to go. Please help.


Blessings

[Ann]

Hello Krista
You said that you were praying and asked how you could ask God to help you. The first step in getting God's help is to come into a personal relationship wiyth Him through the Lord Jesus Christ. Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart to be your Savior? If not that is the place to start. You see we have all every one of us sinned and are less righteous that God is. Nothing unrighteous can come into God's presence and we can't make ourselves righteous. So we all have a problem. It is a problem no one can solve by herself or himself. So God had to solve it for us. You can read about His solution in your Bible in the Book of John the third chapter and the 16th verse. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" To realy understand it helps to read it this way
For God so loved me Krista that he sent his only begotten son that if I Krista believe in him I won't perish but I Krista will have eternal life That makes it more real and personal. Will you receive Jesus as your Savior today if you have not received Him already? If you need more information before making that decision pleae see http://www.ilovejesus.com/misc/accept.html and www.ilovejesus.com/worship/light-in-ga/gift.html.

Once Jesus is living in your heart He can start to really help you, Of course you have to cooperate with Him to get a lot of benefit from His help. For example you made a committment to stay in this relationship but in your heart you really know that it is against God's word to be living with someone and not married to them. So God can't bless the relationship. And you know that it is not his will for you to be sexually involved with other people outside of marriage so He is not going to bless that either. It will take a big adjustment and a lot of courage for you to make changes in your life so you can have peace and joy and be content. God will help you. There is human help available too. You need to talk with a lawyer about property matters etc. since you have a house together. In some states there are specific legal protections for someone on your situation. You also mentioned that he has pushed and choked you. This is abuse. Talking with someone who helps women in abuse situations can help you make a plan to change your and your children's situation. They can help you find resources in your local area to help prorect you and your children physically, legally, and financially. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 800 799 SAFE that's 800 799 7233. They will talk with you and if you want they will tell you how to find help in your local area. They also have a web page www.ndvh.org That page has a place to click so no one will be able to tell from your computer history that you visited the page.

The very best gift that you can give yourself and your children is a life with God and without abuse. Pleasde post again and let us know how you are, Krista.

[grandpa]

:angel: Hello Mizz Krista. Grandpa Here. First if you have a printer, Print Mizz Ann's Post so that you can retain those Phone #'s and e/m Addr's. You have some very important decisions to make Now.

I am going to try to address the several points of your post seperately. First: Abuse never or seldom gets better. It only gets worse and rougher. If any man loves a woman, He will want only good things for her. Slaping around is not Love.

You spoke of Love. Love is not "getting", or "Desireing". Love is giving. Giving what!! Giving of yourself, Your time, Your money, Your Talents, Your Life even. It really sounds like that you have much invested in this house. Depending on Local Laws about "Common Law Marriage", You may have more rights than you know about. I personally do not think that people should live together without the benefit of "Holy Marriage Vows", But that is another subject for later. Mizz Ann covered it thoroughly enough.

You do need Legal Council about your relationship and All property. I do not think that this house could have been built without your help.

Cheating on your present partner is traveling down another dead end road. Danger-Danger!!

Do you have a Loving Church family that you can lean on?? How about trustworthy friends or relatives?? Perhaps when you heard "leave", it was from heavenly advise.

In closing: Pray-Pray for Holy Spirit Wisdom, Insight, and Understanding to know just what you are to do. Keep us posted. Do not just go away. Agape. Grandpa.:) :D